No Substitute, Only You
by thehazardsof-love
Summary: My take on what we didn't see after the 3x20 kiss!
1. Chapter 1

**I've decided to leave "Let Go" where it's at. I think I've done all I wanted with that, but the 3x20 scene in Emily's room is causing my brain to run wild. So, here we are. There is just something about the way they kiss that was really working for me, so this is the result. Hope you like it :) **

Today. Today was a mess.

I was just trying to protect her. I was just trying to piece some of these things together. Caleb and I weren't trying to make things worse or harder for the girls; we just wanted to relieve some of the burden. They act like all of this is so normal, just a regular part of their lives. I guess it is, but the point is it shouldn't be.

After the fiasco with Shana and the costume shop, I dropped Hanna and Emily off at Hanna's. We barely talked the whole way there. I could tell Emily was mad and I'm positive it was because she knew. She knew about Shana and I on some level. Shana wasn't exactly subtle and of course Emily has to go powwow with Hanna about everything that was happening. Who knows what theories could come out of that…

So, I dropped them off and Em and I decided we'd meet up at her place in an hour and talk. I had to check in at home anyway. On my way home, I got a call from Shana. Apparently her boss somehow saw she had emailed confidential costumer information to some email address. She was so pissed, but when she started in on Emily and how bad she was for me, I ended the conversation immediately.

That did not, however, mean I wasn't mad at Emily. How could she do something like that? What did she do, break into the computer system and email it to herself? Who does something like that? Who even thinks about doing something like that?

As I parked in front of her house, she pulled in and parked behind me. I guess she had been at Hanna's longer than she thought she would be.

"Everything okay at Hanna's?" I asked, trying desperately to sound normal even though I was beyond frustrated and annoyed.

Clearly, she was feeling the same way, only she wasn't even trying to hide it. She snipped out, barely looking at me, "Yeah. Aria just came over and had some things to talk about. Come inside."

She started off ahead of me and I rolled my eyes. We walked straight to her room, where I took my jacket off, threw it on the window seat and leaned against the dresser. The closer to the exit the better.

She was facing away from me, laying her jacket on the bed. I jumped in almost immediately.

"Any idea why Shana got in trouble for emailing confidential information?"

I was aggravated. We both knew her and Hanna did something. She just needed to tell me the truth, fill in the holes.

She walked over to her desk and was doing something. "We needed to find out who rented those costumes."

She said it as if it was no big deal, just something they had no choice but to do.

"So badly you're willing to risk somebody's job?"

Emily whipped around to look at me. She looked as annoyed and angry as I felt.

"It's complicated, okay?"

My temper was starting to flare. I was trying to keep it in check, but it wasn't working very well.

"Try me."

Emily had turned her back to me again, so in an effort to calm myself, I clenched and unclenched my fists. I took a breath. Level head, control. I had to be rational if I had any chance of getting her to explain.

"There's more to this than you're letting on," I said. "Is it something about Mona? …did she kill Garrett?"

Emily whips around again, wide-eyed, and yells, "I don't know! Look, I know you and Caleb are trying to bust her, but this might be bigger than Mona, okay? She could be working for someone."

She just looks so frustrated and I immediately feel my mood shift. I don't want her to be mad. I don't want her to be confused. I just want to understand.

I ask, "Someone like who?"

"That's what we're trying to figure out."

Emily's demeanor changes, frustrated and exasperated, but it doesn't seem as directed at me.

"We thought it was CeCe but now… We don't know what to think."

She crosses her arms and looks away.

"Why didn't you tell me this?"

"Cause I was being protective," she says pointedly, turning everything around on me, "same as you and Caleb."

We both fell silent for a moment, trying to take it all in. Or at least I was. Emily clearly had something else on her mind.

Emily seemed to get annoyed again as she said, "Now it's your turn… Shana?"

"Em…"

Don't do this, Em, was all I could think. Don't make me explain that.

"No. We can't be half honest. I saw the way you two looked at each other."

As usual she was right and I didn't know what to say. Do I tell her everything? Do I tell her just the highlights? Do I tell her at all? I could lie, but she's right, we can't be half honest.

I avoided her gaze and started to speak, "We dated…this summer…"

Emily looks exactly like I thought she would look, angry and hurt.

"…while you were working in Haiti. Three weeks."

Emily is shaking her head slightly, "If it was over why would you lie about it?"

"Because I didn't want to hurt you."

Her brow is furrowed and I could tell she was annoyed with me. I moved closer to her slowly, not wanting to overstep. I looked her directly in the eye.

"Emily, believe me, it's over."

She finally looked at me.

"She was a substitute at a time when I never thought I'd get the real thing…"

Emily was still looking at me like she was annoyed or thinking or I didn't even know at that point. She looked away again, like she was just done with all of this. She can't be done. She can't think for one second I could want anyone but her.

"I love _you_."

I said it almost pleadingly, trying to get her to understand.

She was still looking at me skeptically, not convinced. So, I did what we always do to show each other how we feel: I kissed her. Just lightly. Hopefully, just enough.

I could tell she tried to fight it, but seconds after the kiss ended she broke out in this huge smirk. I mirrored the look I'm sure, and I felt like we had never fighting at all. She was smiling. She was okay. We were okay, I thought, letting out a sigh of relief.

We both moved in for another kiss, my hand on her neck, bringing her closer to me. It was sweet at first, but it started to heat up quickly.

She pulled away slightly, "We don't have much time. Mom gets home soon and I still have to go talk to CeCe…"

"Then why are you still talking?"

She grinned again and we moved in and started kissing. I started to move my hand to her chest, needing to feel her. Instead of giving into my touch she gently moved my hand away and held it down by my side. She moved in and started kissing my neck. I knew where this was going. I knew she wanted to be in control. She let go of my arm and brought her hands to my hips, pulling me into her. She moved back to my lips and we were making out as she started pulling me towards the bed.

She pushed me lightly so I was lying down, propped up on my elbows. She crawled on top of me, straddling my hips. We were looking at each other, breathing heavily. Then, she started grinning again. Her eyebrow raised and I am pretty sure I have never wanted to fuck her so much in my whole life. She was so cocky, so sure of herself. It was incredibly sexy.

She was above me and her hair was falling everywhere. That look on her face was turning me on and I couldn't take it anymore. I sat up and reached for her vest, pushing it off of her. She was still grinning and my competitive nature was making me want to wipe that grin off her face, take her so hard she couldn't do anything but scream my name.

I reached for the bottom of her shirt and pulled it up off of her. I looked at her, her body. I don't think there is anything more beautiful in the whole world.

As I'm taking in the sight, she cups my face in her hands and kisses me lightly. Her smile fades suddenly, as if something dawns on her.

"Did you and Shana…"

She almost looked like she was about to cry.

"Em, no. God, no."

"But, you kissed, right? Hooked up? …Did she touch you?"

Her face was breaking my heart, causing this sharp pain in my chest. This is exactly what I wanted to avoid. I didn't want to tell her about Shana because I didn't want to hurt her; I didn't want her to think I wanted any other girl to touch me.

"Emily…"

"Tell me."

"Yeah. We…made out and stuff. I was just lonely and missing you…"

"How did she touch you?"

I looked at her intensely. What did she want, details? A diagram?

"The normal way... I don't know."

This was just really not the time to be talking about Shana.

"Did she touch you like this?"

She moved her hands to my breasts. My eyes fluttered shut at the sensation.

"Em…"

She leaned down and whispered in my ear, "Tell me."

"Yeah," I breathed out, swallowing hard. I was turned on and slightly confused but I didn't want to stop what was happening.

She pushed me back onto the bed and I wrapped my legs around her body as she fell between them. She shifted up, pressing against my center. I groaned.

She covered my mouth with hers and softly, sensually, kissed me. She let it linger, making me want more like she always did.

I went to say something. I'm not even sure what, but she just kissed me again. She pushed into me again and I felt dizzy. There was swelling and this almost painful throbbing. I just needed her to reach down and take some of the ache away.

Sensing this, she snuck her hand under my shirt and started teasing me. Rubbing, pinching. I was grinding up into her harder, faster now.

We were still kissing as I pulled away and choked out, "Em, please…"

I felt her grin into the kiss. She knew what she was doing and she loved every second of it. Evil. She really was just evil.

She removed her hand from under my shirt and undid my pants. She sat up and pulled them and my shoes off, tossing them to the floor. She got off the bed completely, pulled me closer to the edge and then kneeled in front of me.

She started at my stomach, pushing my shirt up to kiss it. She didn't stay there long though and moved to slowly kiss my inner thigh. I knew what was about to happen and by this point I was panting, gripping the comforter, trying to brace myself. The anticipation was torment. My eyes were shut, but I could still see her face in my mind, that grin still plastered all over it.

When she finally pulled my underwear down she didn't connect directly to where I needed her to. She was kissing all around. My hips, my thighs. Everything but where the ache was most prominent.

I went to touch her head to direct it where I wanted it but she grabbed my hand and put it back beside me on the bed. She was in control. It was something she had to do.

My eyes opened and met hers. She wasn't smirking. She was serious. She didn't need to say anything; I knew what she wanted. I licked my lips and we leaned in to kiss each other. As the kiss ended, I simply nodded, giving her permission to continue doing what she was doing. She swallowed hard, eyes glazed over with pleasure and eagerness, and leaned in and connected with me.

I gripped the sheets with both hands and let out a loud, "Fuck…"

Her hands were running all over me as she went about teasing me. They ran over my thighs and up under my shirt. One ended up under my thigh so she could pull me onto her mouth more and then suddenly I felt the other inside of me. Just one finger at first, moving in and out agonizingly slow.

I was cussing and moaning and I didn't care about anything anymore. I wouldn't have cared if Mrs. Fields had walked in, just as long as Emily didn't stop.

She slid another finger inside of me, her mouth never stopping its movements, and I couldn't take it. My head was tilted back and my hands were holding the comforter so tightly they hurt. It was going to happen any second. I felt it. Every part of me was clenching and I was pressing myself even harder to her.

She pushed in hard, deep.

I screamed as my eyes squeezed shut. It washed over me, ending with a scream and a whimper, leaving me completely breathless.

I didn't open my eyes as she pulled out and kissed the inside of the thigh she was still holding onto. She was lightly kissing and sucking and I knew it was going to leave a mark. She was branding me, subtly, where only her and I could see. For us only.

I finally caught my breath and gained some control as she stopped her mouth's movement. She was standing now and she pushed me softly into a laying position, resting both hands at my sides as she leaned in and kissed me. Slowly, lazily.

She pulled back and we looked at each other. She was smiling now, not arrogantly but sincerely. She was looking at me with so much love and affection. I melted, like only she could make me. I reached up and brushed her hair out of her face and tucked it behind her ears, keeping my hands there to cup her face.

"That was all for you, Em. Only you."

**Emily's POV next? Yes? No?**


	2. Chapter 2

**Thanks, guys, for all of your reviews and love. Seriously. It really does motivate me to keep writing :)**

How could she think I wouldn't notice? Did she think I was stupid? The way her and Shana looked at each other…there was something there. Was there still something? Hanna said at the bar they looked pretty cozy, so maybe she was right. Maybe Paige and Shana _were_ seeing each other. Why else would she lie?

I didn't know whether to cry or punch something. A million things were running through my head. I knew I should be more focused on A and CeCe and everything that had sprung up about Ali, but how could I? There was a very real possibility that I could lose Paige or that I already had. We've been through so much. Maybe she just couldn't stand it. I could understand, but thinking about it made everything inside of me tighten up.

Lucky for me, everything with A and my friends never ceases to take over.

Paige dropped us off at Hanna's so Hanna and I could talk. We did and Hanna tried to convince me that despite what she had said initially she didn't believe for a second Paige would ever cheat on me, but how could she know? 'Why else would Paige lie?' was all that kept spinning around in my head.

The conversation just irritated me more and then Aria showed up and we had to calm her down. What a mess. Something is always falling apart around me, around us, no wonder we can't have any kind of stable relationships.

Everything that was happening just left me more agitated than anything else. The lies, the confusion. It just led back to the same emotion I have been left with for a while now: anger.

How could she lie? After everything we've been through?

I just needed to talk to her. We had decided to meet up at my place after Hanna's. Because of everything that happened with talking to Aria it took longer than I had thought, so I ended up pulling in right after Paige had. When I saw her standing there I got even more worked up. I was hurt and scared mostly and the only way my mind could process it was with anger and annoyance. Why would she lie if nothing was happening?

"Everything okay at Hanna's?" she asked. She seemed like she wasn't affected by what had happened with Shana and the costume shop, which only fueled my irritation.

"Yeah. Aria just came over and had some things to talk about. Come inside."

Pretense wasn't even an option at this point. I wanted her to know I was annoyed, that none of this was okay. I didn't even wait to walk in with her; I just headed straight for my room. I took off my jacket and laid it out on the bed. She was leaning against my dresser and suddenly I couldn't bring myself to look at her. She started talking almost immediately.

"Any idea why Shana got in trouble for emailing confidential information?"

Apparently, she was more annoyed than she was letting on. Still unable to look at her, I walked towards my desk and started to idly straighten it up. If I looked at her, it would have all bubbled over and holding anything inside wouldn't have been an option.

"We needed to find out who rented those costumes," I said.

It was that simple; we had to find out who rented it to piece some of this mess together. Why was she so testy about it?

"So badly you're willing to risk somebody's job?"

I whipped around to look at her, completely furious now.

"It's complicated, okay?"

"Try me."

Of course she was challenging me. She wouldn't be her if she didn't. She wasn't going to let this go and by this point I didn't know how much more I could take.

"There's more to this than you're letting on," she said. "Is it something about Mona? …did she kill Garrett?"

I snapped. I whipped around again, wide-eyed, and yelled, "I don't know! Look, I know you and Caleb are trying to bust her, but this might be bigger than Mona, okay? She could be working for someone."

This wasn't just about Paige or the costume shop. There were so many missing pieces that weren't fitting together and I just wanted to scream. The whole situation, my whole life, as always, was a mess. This was just one more thing. More mysteries, more lies.

"Someone like who?"

"That's what we're trying to figure out."

I was starting to deflate. By this point, I couldn't bring myself to be as mad as I was. I was too tired.

"We thought it was CeCe but now… We don't know what to think," I continued, crossing my arms and finding myself once again unable to look at her.

"Why didn't you tell me this?"

"Cause I was being protective," I said sharply. "Same as you and Caleb."

We stopped talking for a minute and of course my mind went back to Paige and Shana. Back to the lie.

I was starting to get annoyed again as I said, "Now it's your turn… Shana?"

"Em…"

"No. We can't be half honest. I saw the way you two looked at each other."

She wasn't looking at me as she started to speak, "We dated…this summer…while you were working in Haiti. Three weeks."

It hit me harder than I thought it would. I wished for a second I hadn't made her tell me. Paige, _my_ Paige, had been with someone else and kept it from me. I couldn't wrap my head around it. I finally asked her the question that had been circling in my mind since I saw them together.

"If it was over why would you lie about it?"

"Because I didn't want to hurt you."

I couldn't take it. Any of it. Everything was a mess and now there was this thing in between Paige and I. She was with someone else. She wanted someone else. Did she still want her? Was it still going on?

"Emily, believe me, it's over."

I finally gathered the strength to look at her as she continued.

"She was a substitute at a time when I never thought I'd get the real thing…"

I just looked at her. This changed things; it would forever change how I saw her. Even if it was over. She wasn't just my Paige anymore and I actually felt like I was going to be sick. I also had an incredibly strong urge to strangle Shana.

"I love _you_."

I wanted to believe her. She was standing there looking directly at me, practically _begging _me to trust what she was saying. We had been through so much. I trusted her with my life. I have shown her sides of me that no one has ever seen, but I couldn't help but feel robbed somehow.

Then, she kissed me. It was light and quick but I felt it. It was simple, but I knew what it meant. I tried to fight it, but I couldn't. I grinned. How could I not? She was such a sap. She was standing there, completely open to me as always, looking at me with worried eyes and that look she gets when she's serious. Of course she loved me. Maybe this changed how I saw her slightly, but it didn't change who she is or how we feel. She was still her. My beautiful Paige.

It didn't take us long to come together and start kissing. Paige pulled me gently to her and all I could think about was being inside of her. I wanted her. Right now. I knew I had to be practical though. Mom was coming home at some point and I still had to go see Cece and try and figure some of that mess out.

I pulled away a little and told her, "We don't have much time. Mom gets home soon and I still have to go talk to CeCe…"

"Then why are you still talking?"

Perfect. She was absolutely perfect.

The kissing recommenced and I felt her hand cup my breast. I wanted her to touch me. I wanted her to take me, but then I remembered Shana. All I could see in my head was her touching Shana like this and then I thought about Shana touching her and my competitive nature and jealously took over. I moved her hand off my breast and to her side. I was in control. I was going to have her and show her why she was mine. I was going to be better than Shana ever was.

I grabbed her by the hips and pulled her to me, kissing her as I started moving us towards the bed.

I laid her down on the bed. She was propped up on her elbows and I moved to straddle her hips. My eyes never left hers. We were both turned on and breathing heavily. All I could think of was her underneath of me, waiting for me to take her, her pale skin under my hands. I wanted to kiss her all over. I wanted to taste her. I was smirking, thinking about all the things I wanted to do to her.

I knew how ready she was when she sat up and took my vest off. Then, she immediately took my shirt off and started taking in every inch of me. I knew she wanted to touch me, taste me, be all over me.

Not tonight. Tonight she was mine. Only mine.

I cupped her face in my hands and kissed her lightly. I was ready, but then suddenly the idea of her being 'only mine' struck me. She wasn't only mine. She had been with someone else. Someone other than random boys. She had been with another_ girl_. Another girl had touched her. Had they had sex? All I could see was Paige coming undone underneath of Shana. I felt like I was going to cry, but I had to know what happened between them.

"Did you and Shana…"

"Em, no. God, no."

"But, you kissed, right? Hooked up? …Did she touch you?"

"Emily…"

"Tell me."

"Yeah. We…made out and stuff. I was just lonely and missing you…"

"How did she touch you?"

"The normal way... I don't know."

"Did she touch you like this?"

I moved my hands to her chest and teased her, just like I had a million times. Just how I knew she liked me to.

"Em…"

I leaned down and whispered, "Tell me."

I don't know if it was because of the way I was touching her, the look in her eyes, or the mental image of her naked and coming that made this moment so raw and sexy. But it was and it all just made me want her more.

"Yeah," she breathed out, swallowing hard.

Her stuttered response only proved that she was feeling as aroused as I was, so I gently pushed her back to lay on the bed completely. I was between her legs and she had them wrapped around me. I pushed up, knowing how much she would love it.

As she groaned, I kissed her again. Just softly, just enough to make her want more. When I knew she wanted it, I moved for her breast, working her up more, and began pressing my hips into her harder. I was feeling it too, the ache, the pleasure.

"Em, please…"

She was begging me and I couldn't stop the grin that formed on my face. She wanted me to take her. Badly. Exactly as I planned. I knew where to touch her and how. Nobody knew her body like I did and I was going to prove it.

I pulled my hand out from under her shirt and moved it to undo her pants. I pulled them down and removed everything from her waist down. She was half naked and that was all I needed her to be to get where I was going. I pulled her closer to the edge of the bed and dropped to my knees between her legs. My mouth was actually watering in anticipation of what I was about to do.

I planned on making it last, doing this as slowly as I possibly could. I started kissing her all over. First, I lifted her shirt slightly to kiss her stomach. Then, I slowly placed soft kisses and licks across her inner thigh. I was so close. I think I was as ready as she was to be on her, inside of her.

I looked up at her, she had her eyes shut and I started smiling like a fool all over again.

She was making little noises. The noises I was becoming so used to. Noises that turned me on and told me exactly what she wanted, what she needed.

I finally slid her underwear down, I wanted so badly to bring my mouth to her, but I didn't. I kissed all around. Softly, teasingly. I too was getting more and more worked up as I continued to torture her. Paige coming undone, especially because of my actions, turned me on just thinking about it. Even when we weren't near each other, when I was doing something mundane, or just sitting idly, my mind wandered to moments like this. I craved her milky skin and her taste. I longed for the sounds she makes, the certain way she contorted with pleasure.

She tried to reach out and touch my head, bring me to where I knew she needed me, but I moved her hand away. She wasn't going to do the touching. I wanted to touch her like Shana _hadn't._ I was going to show her how much I wanted her to be only mine. I had to. There were a million reasons for her to walk away, but this area of our relationship was not one of them. I had to show her.

I looked up at her, making sure she was okay, making sure she did want it too. I may have been in control but I still needed to know she was alright, ready.

Sensing this, she opened her eyes and our eyes met. We didn't need words. We both knew this was what we both wanted. She licked her lips and we instinctively leaned in and kissed. When we pulled away, Paige nodded and I knew. She wanted me. She was only thinking about me and the things she felt for me, because of me. I swallowed hard and moved in, connecting with her center.

In return, I received a loud, "Fuck…"

I wasn't on the receiving end of an orgasm, but that reaction was more than enough for me. It was sexy and unfiltered. She was sexy. Every noise, every profanity, every inch of her: sexy.

There are many things I like about sex with another girl. This being my favorite. Especially with Paige. I love looking up at her and seeing her dismantled. I love the way she tastes and how I know exactly how she likes it. The right way to stroke her with my tongue, the right amount to suck.

Taking her in, I physically _needed _to touch her.

I ran my hands under her shirt, briefly over her breasts, and up her thighs. I took one arm and wrapped it under her leg so I could pull her closer and hold her still as my actions made her wriggle. Then, without warning or lead in, I took one finger and slid inside of her. She grunted and threw her head back, her hands clenching the comforter underneath her.

Paige was so tight... and that was something only I knew, something only I got to feel.

I moved in and out. Slowly. Working her up and letting myself feel her.

She was moaning and writhing, trying to get me to go faster, harder.

I added another finger and kept my mouth on her, never stopping, moving faster and faster.

I pushed inside of her harder, deeper, and she unfolded.

She was tightening around me. Inside and out.

She let out a scream and a whimper. As she finished, her chest heaved as she tried to catch her breath. I pulled out of her, my fingers coated, covered in her. I looked up to closed eyes and could only think of one more thing I had to do.

I started sucking and biting at her inner thigh, not to tease her or get her worked up again, but to leave a mark. When she took her clothes off, I wanted her to look down and see a reminder of this, of me on and inside of her. I wanted her to feel a twinge down below thinking about my mouth, my hands, my lips. Physical proof that I was the only one to come near that part of her. A secret only her and I shared.

When I was done, I stood and watched as she finally seemed to settle down, eyes still closed. I laid her down and rested my hands by her sides, propping myself up so I was above her, my hair falling around us. I kissed her gently, lazily. Letting her calm.

The kiss ended and I looked down at her as she looked up at me. I couldn't help but smile. Her laying there under me was beautiful. _She_ was beautiful. My beautiful, sweet Paige.

She reached up and brushed my hair back, cradling my face in her hands. My heart fluttered as she spoke.

"That was all for you, Em. Only you."

**End. :)**


End file.
